There are days when I can't finish what I start, like the blog I posted earlier.  When my husband died I found out that he had been cheating, ran my credit in the ground, by forging my signature and getting a post office box, and that he somehow had refinanced our home, again by forging my signature, and put his mother as owner.  So, when I paid off my house, I paid off a house that was not mine.  Our marriage was not good for years.  I was not allowed to go anywhere, except to visit family.  My outlet was my friends and the phone.  If it hadn't been for them, I really don't know how I would have survived.

When I moved back home to take care of my mother, I left a job as an assistant manager.  I really thought I would come home and get her well, and find a job, look for a house close by and get on with my life.  No.  I am again stuck in the house, with a cranky woman.  I understand she doesn't feel good, but I get upset because I am doing all I can do.  The other thing that bothers me is my mom's house.  And I feel selfish for feeling this way.  My mom's house is listed with both my sister and I as beneficiaries.  If my mom has to enter a nursing home social security will take her house.  Which leaves my grandson and I with no home.  If she should pass away, my sister will take the house, even though its split fifty fifty.  Again, we will be left homeless.  Everyone tells my mom to put everything in my name, but she won't do it.  I don't know why. 

As to finding a man, that is none existant.  I miss talking and holding hands.  I miss hugs and kisses.  I miss someone holding me, when I'm upset.  Is there someone out there who would be willing to take me and my grandson on?  I also want to hold them, when they are upset, to give them hugs and kisses, do activities that they enjoy.  I don't think it would be one sided.  LOL..if there is a 6 foot extra cuddly guy out there, between 45-54, please let me know.

I"m putting this out there because I really don't have anyone to talk to.  I basically feel like I'm in prison.